Before you decide that this post won’t relate, just give me a minute. Your first thought might be the professional world of sales – cars, computers, homes. Or maybe it’s of the retail world – you can make it large for only $2 and if you get two, you get a discount. But what about in our personal lives?

Sometimes we practice the sales pitch when deciding what we want to do or what we want to eat. Then there’s the adulting side of determining budgets and goals and all of the long term things. Perhaps you’ve never thought about it like that, but what is a sales pitch really? It’s an argument for a certain item, goal, person, or concept that often presents why said item, goal, person, or concept is superior to the other options that might exist.

Which brings me to what I really have been thinking about… the existence of the sales pitch in our interpersonal lives. It has recently come to my attention that this may be a more prominent practice than what we would prefer. Maybe it’s because we get caught in the place between wanting to protect our reputation and being scared of change. Or maybe it’s because we begin to believe that the best really isn’t yet to come, so we don’t want to rock our reality too much.

I have decided that for my own health, I am going the route of not offering any more sales pitches. It’s something I have typically done any time I could feel someone moving away as a friend or a romantic interest. I bring my arguments of how and why I care, what I want and what I can offer, maybe why we ‘need’ each other. But here’s the deal… you only need a sales pitch when the receiving party needs convincing. And what I want you to know is the same thing I’ve decided. No one that needs convincing deserves me.

There, I said it. I am a categorically screwed up person, but anyone that knows anything about who I am also knows that I am trying to be and become the best that I possibly can. And no matter where I am in that journey, anyone needing convinced that me and my friendship, etc. is worth it… well they just aren’t.

I have a set of friends that I can count on. Is it small? Actually yea, but I know they’re all solid and believe in me like I do them. I have a family that is insanely wacky, makes my eyes roll, and we all let our voices get a certain tone at times, but we have proven to each other recently just how much we’ve got each other’s backs. I’ve got two babies and a pup who remind me regularly how blessed I am to be their momma. And when it’s all said and done, that’s all I need.

I recently had a situation when in being wronged by one person, I ended up wronged by two or three depending on how you slice it. Historically, I’d have put all my energy into making one of those right again to make sure that, you know, I wasn’t missing out. But you know what I did? I went old school. I snail-mailed a letter written in story form to try and clear up a reputation altering rumor that I could have seen infiltrate all of my worlds. Since then, it appears I have maybe been “cleared” in part. Except that where before I would consider being content with that, I am acknowledging that I deserve more.

I’m not begging for an explanation or an apology about things. Is it needed? Actually, yes. Am I considering a sales pitch to said person about any of it to get back to before? Nope. I care about my reputation, so it mattered to me to clear it. I did that, and I spoke my peace about the circumstances. And that’s where I need to stop. I’ll not be rude by any means, but it isn’t my place to initiate conversations toward restoring anything else. Past experience would say that if I try to, then I will end up taking responsibility for things that are not to be my responsibility.

We, you and me, are worth more than trying to convince people that we should matter to them. Now… are there situations where more pointed conversations are warranted? Absolutely. Marriage is one. It should be fought for hard by both people. But this is not that. Evaluate what matters. Work hard to restore what needs restored, but figure out where your restoration efforts might resemble more of a sales pitch.

And then stop it. It’s not your job to tell someone why you’re important. If they don’t know or can’t figure it out, then the ways you want to be important are probably not going to align with the ways that person decides you’re important – and that goes for whatever type of friendship or relationship you might be considering. People who need told why someone matters are most likely only there for whatever they can gain in return.

But people need to matter just because, including you.

You deserve to be engulfed in everything genuine.

And you certainly are worth more than a sales pitch.