As I type, I have a jigsaw puzzle spread out on my dinner table. You know what would be silly? Attempting to work a puzzle without knowing what the picture is supposed to be. If you have no idea of the picture, you have to manually exhaust every potential pairing using brute force, manipulating every piece from one to four times until you find a matching pair. And then you’ll do it all again. Now imagine if the puzzle was double-sided. That sounds completely exhausting!

There was a puzzle that I started once. To be honest, I don’t know its whereabouts, but I do know that in my dreams, I’m back working on that puzzle. I hope that someday I can finish it, because it represents the truest of puzzles. I’ll be honest, while it was a standard one-sided puzzle, in my heart it’s one that’s actually two-sided.

One side is the mastery that is my life and who I am. My experiences, my passions, my pains, my family, my memories that I have yet to create, my ‘me’ that I am working toward. I love working on it. I have been a little bit frustrated with a few chunks of the puzzle because I think they were completely unnecessary… but I also know that they play a role in the bigger picture. At minimum, it’s my job to see the beauty in having those sections behind me. They won’t be the only parts that aren’t my favorite, and I’ll just have to remind myself when I get to the next unpleasant chunk that it doesn’t represent the big picture, only a small portion.

I know that when my life is done and I complete my puzzle, that it will have been everything I have ever needed. Why? Because that’s my responsibility until then. It’s my job to figure out how to love my life no matter what. It’s also my job to remind myself that each moment is simply part of the big picture.

But I have a secret. Remember that other side? I have this daydream, and I believe that while I put together my life on paper, I’m putting together my daydream of what could be. If it so happens that the daydream becomes visible to more than just me… oh that would be awesome. I know what’s on the other side. If life lets it come to be… yay! But I am so content recently in the knowledge that I’m putting my puzzle together one way or another, and that while I would be thrilled to expose the other side, for right now, it’s for me.

I have a dream. I know what I want. I know that if my dream is to be, then I will get there by building who I am into who I want to be. I have to be true to myself. And the same goes for you. You have a master puzzle to assemble also, and whether you like it or not, you’ve already begun.

In my world, it’s synonymous with the difference between being single and available. I am single by definition; however, I am not available for anything or anyone that doesn’t exist in my daydream. See, if the existence of my daydream rests in assembling the same set of pieces in the same pattern as the big picture of my life, then why on earth would I be available for anything that would require something different?

The point is, the joy that is the puzzle of my life can only be assembled properly one way, and I need to be true to that. If, by being true to me and to my dreams, I get to see the flip side, then wonderful. If not, then I know that I will still have everything I could ever need.

Ultimately, I trust that if anything will bring about my daydream, it will be the magic of being me…

…and I believe that’s the magic in my puzzle.