More than a decade ago, life was rocked two years in a row as one grandparent died and then the other. Both were in September and the second was three weeks shy of falling on the year anniversary of the first. As you all know this month also holds the anniversary of the day time stood still for us as a nation. We watched the Twin Towers crumble to evil as so many lives were lost.

One thing is consistent though as we consider years past. We know that when life throws its strongest blows that there are many who will fall into despair – blocking every ray of sun attempting to shine a little light for the simple fact that it might illuminate something they don’t want to have to acknowledge. HOWEVER, there is another group composed of people who are able to see the effects of tragedy no only in their own life, but they can see the effects of tragedy in the lives of their neighbors. Within that group there grows a strength and a bond that pulls people together to heal and overcome.

And perhaps that’s the perspective from which I come to you today. As you are aware if you’ve been following along, life hasn’t always been pretty… and for goodness’ sake, that’s okay!! But when it’s not pretty, and it’s hard, and it feels crippling to the core of who you are, work to position yourself within that second group. We cannot do life alone and expect to succeed.

Now, let me tell you, I have some amazing friends who have seen me through, and I will never be able to repay them for the role they have played in my life. That said, as we evolve, sometimes our circle naturally evolves also, and that needs to be okay. Your core group of people may always have a seat saved at the table of your life, but challenge yourself to invite others to join the meal as you evolve and shift.

So here’s the thing if you’re not buying it… because after all it might mean trusting someone new. You know how pants are a pretty important part of life? So last year I bought a single pair of jeans. Other than that pair, every pair of jeans I owned until about a week ago had existed in my life, or my sister’s since some were hand-me-downs, for somewhere between 5 and 10 years. These are many of the same pants that I had to fit back into after my first child, who’s now 8 years old.

But guess what this still-learning-how-to-grow-up girl did? She managed to intentionally save money for almost two months with the specific purpose of updating her wardrobe and doing some much needed work on her truck. And my goodness, let me tell you… Charlene is saying thank you for her upgrades, and I am loving my selection of jeans. I am down a size in pants from what I thought, meaning I’m now at my high school existence in a way, and my having been able to position myself financially to do all of that has been crazy rewarding. I’m telling you, they’re the perfect fit now, and I feel fantastic.

And the point of all of THAT is that it’s completely okay to evolve into a place where your circle looks different than it did before, whether you’re considering your wardrobe, your environment, or even your people. As we grow, we change. As we change, we require different things.

Like I said, my people are my rock and my core, and they should all know that. But… I won’t offend any of them by saying that I’d love to expand my circle to include more people who can speak into my life in ways that they can’t. They all want the best for me anyway, so they get it. And, you know, I think I’m on the way there. I’ve stepped into a new scene this month that I had been longing for already, and I’m confident as I jump into it that I will continue to meet people I can learn from.

None of us are done growing, so as we do, we need to be willing to learn and evolve at the same time. We need to keep searching for who or what will end up a perfect fit for where we are and what we need. Those are the people, the environments, and even the pants, that we’ll likely turn to when our world seems like it’s falling apart because unfortunately we know that moment may come in part or in full, so it’s crucial that we be ready.

So here we are. We’re ending September in a few days. Within my world, this month is more beautiful and bittersweet than it has ever been in the past, but I am so excited for the ways I am finding my ‘perfect fits’.

I wish that for you also, so be good to you… because you’re worth it.