December 26th

This is a day I struggle with every year. The day after Christmas. No, I don’t have a personal tragedy connected to this day. There isn’t a black hole on the calendar. And yet this might traditionally be my very least favorite day of the entire year.

Christmas is the most beautiful time in my opinion. Hands down. Quite literally no questions asked at all. As soon as I can begin to see it peaking around the corner, I become, I’m sure, annoyingly giddy. I had a neighbor this year tell me that looking up at my apartment landing made it feel like home because of the decor I put out by my door, and then I found out that I do in fact “take Christmas very seriously”… and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

It is such a dilemma every year deciding when to take all of the decorations down. I don’t want to be the person that can’t let things go, but it’s such a good thing to keep a hold of, ya know? And the dilemma begins today, on December 26th… the date given to the 24 hours worth of time that begins when the clock strikes midnight at the end of Christmas Day. It’s the date that means the magic is over, or at least that it’s waning.

Sure, sure, there are still celebrations planned that many will be a part of due to how busy the weeks leading up to the holiday can be. We’ll say ‘Merry Christmas’ for about the next week… but for anyone with a daily calendar, the page has been flipped, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

All of that said, this year has been different (more to come on that next week!), and it certainly did not skip altering the Christmas season for many of us. Maybe you’re of the vantage point that says this year been a waste. Maybe to you this year is one that you would rather forget for the heartache you’ve endured. Maybe for you and yours life has seemed cruel and unfair. Maybe… maybe… maybe…

Or maybe… maybe you’ve been able to see the sweetness in the adaptations, the advantage in the change, the little something new that just might have the possibility of becoming something a little bigger than little.

Take a gander at some of my little somethings new this year:

• A very unbusy calendar that made me wonder what I’d forgotten
• A chance to take my littles to Christmas at the Zoo with a smaller crowd to sift through
• A little bit of time to break a guitar string while tightening the wrong one
• A daily story of a hero Gingerbread man as told by my Kindergartener while he worked on school from home
• A quiet Christmas Eve with plans of candles and reflection that yielded snoring on my couch instead
• A Christmas morning of contented flurry-watching just to turn around and see a picture of Japan on my TV as a screensaver while carols played in the background
• A bit of time to then reminisce about Japan… (perhaps that shall be a soon coming writing also!)
• A few days to show my girl and my boy, when they would pause long enough, how to make some of the candies I enjoy making
• A moment to open silly advent calendar cubbies with my babies most mornings thanks again to school from home
• A real opportunity for time with Jesus on His birthday – time to read, think, and reflect – that the hustle of most years can all too easily push aside
• A genuine prayer for the one I look forward to sharing life with in the future… something I regret to say that I’d never taken seriously and about which I now have to consciously push aside the ‘what ifs’ because, dear goodness, this place in my life is far from what I thought was ideal and yet so very, very special
• And a million pauses that I’ve been able to take in order to soak in what’s happening around me because I don’t have to move quite so quickly through my days

See, I don’t know how your Christmas time, or whatever holiday time you’re celebrating, has been different this year from what it would be under normal circumstances. I am missing seeing my extended family, being able to watch a grin spread across a stranger’s face as I first offer one her way, and physically touching people with a handshake or a hug… goodness I love hugs and miss them so. But in the midst of all of that, I can say that the serenity and simplicity that has been this season, has been almost overwhelming at times, but in the most beautiful way possible. I have been humbled, been blessed, and been loved… and hopefully the way I love has in turn been a blessing.

I must tell you, though, that while my story of this year may not align with the story of many as I look back in mostly positive and thoughtful tones, it has still been challenging, and I have faced things that I never thought I would… life has ended, communities have become unsettled, loved ones have battled unfair struggles, dumpsters have burned in the middle of the street, people have knowingly hurt each other… but yet here I am, and here we are. And all of that comes together now. It’s kind of like how the groups that are supposed to hate each other according to the media are telling each other in person how strong of a team we have together… but that’s not exactly what this blog is about, now is it?

Anyway, I have one more Christmas celebration to look forward to, and then it will officially be a wrap… unless… unless this is the year that I determine that I really do get to keep it everyday.

This year has been monumental for so many reasons, and Christmas really is the culmination of all of it in a way that I cannot even describe. I have not, in the past, been so content, so thankful, so in love as I am right now. And for the record, no, there is nothing romantic in the last part of that statement.

This has been the year of change, lots of change. There has been painful changes, wonderful changes, and changes that I won’t realize until down the road that I’m still processing. While there has been some big change in all of that, the vast majority of it over all three categories have probably been little bits of change that have simply added up. My little somethings new.

Find yours, my friend. Find your little somethings new. Find them, and love them hard. You’re worth the effort you’ll put in. You’re worth even more.